Does anyone else ever feel like they are exploding? The past few weeks I've felt like I've been exploding. Exploding with ideas. Exploding with things to say. Exploding with stress about next year. Exploding with vigor and joy and excitement.
It's been a little much. The possibilities and unknowns are overwhelming. What will I do next year? What career path should I choose if I choose to go back to work? What should I do if I think I should pursue something instead? What if I am called to this? What if I need to speak up about this? How will we make ends meets? How will we balance kids and work? and many more questions crowd my head at night trying figure out why this sudden explosion of activity in my life.
I guess this is what happens when you feel the Spirit at work. I'll try to ride the wave and listen to how and to what he calls. But it is extremely nerve wracking and scary and sort of exciting! Is it terrible that I am ready to shed a bit of my "stay at home mom" skin and do something new? Even if that new is something unseen as of yet?
Daniel and I are at a crossroads of new beginnings and opportunities. Not sure what the cards hold, but is sure is fun anticipating what's around the corner!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The power to not conform
I deeply respect my parents and the choices they have made in life. They tend to choose the harder road, the road less traveled, the counterintuitive road all because they feel and listen strongly to the convictions of Christ placed on their lives.
And they've suffered for it. Burned by churches they have given themselves to sacrificially in a multitude of ways, they continue to commit themselves to serving the church and Jesus. It's humbling and hard to see how they've left 'comfortable' positions and allowed themselves to be vulnerable in difficult circumstances without any promise of, except being called faithful at the end of the day. They've left a church with a lot of friends and in the suburbs, to move to the city to plant a church without many peers. They moved to a city leaving the comforts and safety that suburbs offer. My dad left his job to go into ministry, drastically changing their lifestyles in their 'old' age. While most people seek to beef up retirement, my parents are taking a humble, low road in the name of what Jesus has placed on their hearts.
Maybe, now you see why I have issues with committing to a church (since Charlottesville). I'm just waiting to get burned. Waiting for the hurt that inevitably comes from communing with sinners. Or waiting for the hurt that comes from following christ and being faithful to what he has called you to and for the church to fail you in that regard, because it does.
And yet, even with my church baggage, I feel so blessed by parents because I have this deep power to not conform. I don't have to seek comfort or safety in the communities I am apart of. I don't have to pursue financial or social security with regards to my career or church or lifestyle. I have the power to listen to and follow my convictions, pursue Jesus with whatever I have and walk out in faith with my decisions.
And I am deeply thankful for that. My best friend and I have spent the last year feeling the angst of not fitting in with our church communities and doubting ourselves for wanting more than what we have and feeling pressure to conform to what we are not. We are non-conformers. Not content with the status quo, actively wrestling with the calls and situations god has placed in our lives. And church for us is not a social club nor just a place you go on Sunday to worship. It may be a place that hurts you and persecutes you in some way and not necessarily a place of comfort, but definitely growth. While no church is perfect, very very far from, there needs to be a conviction, even an anointing of god's, saying "go here."
And like Abraham, we have to listen to that call. Even if the call is to leave the land of your fathers and go somewhere weird or difficult or skyrockets your gas budget. Because that is what it means to have faith and to act on it, especially if it makes you different. Lord Jesus, may we listen to you in the places where we conform and not follow on convictions. Help us follow you where you go and call. help us trust the plans you have for us. In your name we pray, amen.
And they've suffered for it. Burned by churches they have given themselves to sacrificially in a multitude of ways, they continue to commit themselves to serving the church and Jesus. It's humbling and hard to see how they've left 'comfortable' positions and allowed themselves to be vulnerable in difficult circumstances without any promise of, except being called faithful at the end of the day. They've left a church with a lot of friends and in the suburbs, to move to the city to plant a church without many peers. They moved to a city leaving the comforts and safety that suburbs offer. My dad left his job to go into ministry, drastically changing their lifestyles in their 'old' age. While most people seek to beef up retirement, my parents are taking a humble, low road in the name of what Jesus has placed on their hearts.
Maybe, now you see why I have issues with committing to a church (since Charlottesville). I'm just waiting to get burned. Waiting for the hurt that inevitably comes from communing with sinners. Or waiting for the hurt that comes from following christ and being faithful to what he has called you to and for the church to fail you in that regard, because it does.
And yet, even with my church baggage, I feel so blessed by parents because I have this deep power to not conform. I don't have to seek comfort or safety in the communities I am apart of. I don't have to pursue financial or social security with regards to my career or church or lifestyle. I have the power to listen to and follow my convictions, pursue Jesus with whatever I have and walk out in faith with my decisions.
And I am deeply thankful for that. My best friend and I have spent the last year feeling the angst of not fitting in with our church communities and doubting ourselves for wanting more than what we have and feeling pressure to conform to what we are not. We are non-conformers. Not content with the status quo, actively wrestling with the calls and situations god has placed in our lives. And church for us is not a social club nor just a place you go on Sunday to worship. It may be a place that hurts you and persecutes you in some way and not necessarily a place of comfort, but definitely growth. While no church is perfect, very very far from, there needs to be a conviction, even an anointing of god's, saying "go here."
And like Abraham, we have to listen to that call. Even if the call is to leave the land of your fathers and go somewhere weird or difficult or skyrockets your gas budget. Because that is what it means to have faith and to act on it, especially if it makes you different. Lord Jesus, may we listen to you in the places where we conform and not follow on convictions. Help us follow you where you go and call. help us trust the plans you have for us. In your name we pray, amen.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Tolerance
The themes of the last few Sunday sermons have included a few slams against tolerance. My knee jerk reaction is to go: "WHAT? Tolerance is so important. What are you talking about?" But then I realize there are subtleties to tolerance that have been overlooked in the sermon discussion. My immediate definition of tolerance that comes to mind is probably not the one the pastor is talking about. The idea that we should accept people different than us and respect them is way way way different than tolerating sin, but the term is used interchangeably. The pastor is not saying we should be intolerant people, but we should be intolerant of sin... I think. I don't know, I'm new to the denomination...
As a teacher, I embrace and enjoy being tolerant of all sorts of different perspectives my students bring to the classroom. In the cities I live and have lived and the communities I have and am apart of, I LOVE the differences and the challenges and difficulties that their "diversity" brings. I am all for mixing up different life views, philosophies, even religions. It keeps one sharp and aware of the truth of the gospel and how it is for ALL people. Also, I think diversity reflects the ulta creative God we have that is omnipotent and who can totally handle opposing sides and views and personalities.
But, when I think about it, there are things I do not tolerate. As in, a few deal breakers within my marriage. Behaviors I completely do not allow in my household or classroom. Things I abhor and will fight against and punish, etcetc. Disrespect is one. Dishonesty is another. And Daniel knows that if he ever cheated on me, our marriage would be over. Completely unable to tolerate (handle, live with) betrayal of trust or intimacy. I am completely intolerable when it comes to that.
And I am also really unable to handle bratty behavior by my two year old. Tend to nip that in the bud as effectively as I can, when I realize it (have a baby, sometimes I am lax and have to retrain her).
Things I should be more intolerant about but require too much confrontation:
-friends living with their to be husbands (worked out for all of them, but still iffy...don't want to be judgy, but would never be comfortable with it myself... this is probably what the pastor was talking about in the sermon...)
- people making discriminatory remarks
- intolerant people with regards to immigration, same sex rights, other religions and political beliefs
Things I tolerate, but I am cowardly about:
-a lot of church policies that exclude women in some way or reduce their agency and voices or abilities to be ministered or to minister
-telling people i disagree with them about x, y or z.
- people who drink soda regularly (i cringe if it's not a once or twice a year thing. it's soo gross and unhealthy. how can you put it in your body??)
- bad grammar (wait...pretty intolerant about that)
-TV ( hate it, and yet, still watch it. i'm tolerant of it, but if i never watched it again, my life would be a success).
I am all for tolerance. Think it is needed in the kingdom of God. Jesus tolerated sinners and the Pharisees (though not so much the Pharisees). He tolerates us in all our weird and imperfect ways. A good Christian is a tolerant one... except when it comes to sin. We are not to be tolerant of destructive sin in our lives or the lives of others. Don't you dare lie, cheat, steal, or murder!!! especially with regards to me!
As a teacher, I embrace and enjoy being tolerant of all sorts of different perspectives my students bring to the classroom. In the cities I live and have lived and the communities I have and am apart of, I LOVE the differences and the challenges and difficulties that their "diversity" brings. I am all for mixing up different life views, philosophies, even religions. It keeps one sharp and aware of the truth of the gospel and how it is for ALL people. Also, I think diversity reflects the ulta creative God we have that is omnipotent and who can totally handle opposing sides and views and personalities.
But, when I think about it, there are things I do not tolerate. As in, a few deal breakers within my marriage. Behaviors I completely do not allow in my household or classroom. Things I abhor and will fight against and punish, etcetc. Disrespect is one. Dishonesty is another. And Daniel knows that if he ever cheated on me, our marriage would be over. Completely unable to tolerate (handle, live with) betrayal of trust or intimacy. I am completely intolerable when it comes to that.
And I am also really unable to handle bratty behavior by my two year old. Tend to nip that in the bud as effectively as I can, when I realize it (have a baby, sometimes I am lax and have to retrain her).
Things I should be more intolerant about but require too much confrontation:
-friends living with their to be husbands (worked out for all of them, but still iffy...don't want to be judgy, but would never be comfortable with it myself... this is probably what the pastor was talking about in the sermon...)
- people making discriminatory remarks
- intolerant people with regards to immigration, same sex rights, other religions and political beliefs
Things I tolerate, but I am cowardly about:
-a lot of church policies that exclude women in some way or reduce their agency and voices or abilities to be ministered or to minister
-telling people i disagree with them about x, y or z.
- people who drink soda regularly (i cringe if it's not a once or twice a year thing. it's soo gross and unhealthy. how can you put it in your body??)
- bad grammar (wait...pretty intolerant about that)
-TV ( hate it, and yet, still watch it. i'm tolerant of it, but if i never watched it again, my life would be a success).
I am all for tolerance. Think it is needed in the kingdom of God. Jesus tolerated sinners and the Pharisees (though not so much the Pharisees). He tolerates us in all our weird and imperfect ways. A good Christian is a tolerant one... except when it comes to sin. We are not to be tolerant of destructive sin in our lives or the lives of others. Don't you dare lie, cheat, steal, or murder!!! especially with regards to me!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Friends versus DBs
A girl my husband went to college with just wrote a funny post on her blog about finding a new best friend. She referenced one of the funniest new televisions out there, the Mindy Project, saying, "Best friend isn't a person, it's tier." While she went on to lament her lack of intimate acquaintances here in Durham, I started to lament my lack of a drinking buddy.
Cs Lewis has this quote about friends that ends with "you,too?" "You,too? You like the same things I do? You also flip out over silly, nonsensical things? You, too, read French literature and listen to random French rap?!" The joy and excitement of someone who enjoys the same things as you is the spark and beginning of deep true friendships, so CS Lewis surmised.
Right now, these days, I want: "you, too? you, too, want a drink and forget being peed on, whined at, picking up 40 bijillion toys, and cleaning 10 hundred spills in the last four hours? And want to talk about something non kid related even though i have zero knowledge of current events, popular trends, and any sports? Awesome! Let's leave the kids with dad and go!"
As wonderful as best friendships are, I'm not there anymore. I have two kids, a husband, and a part time job.and soon a garden. I don't need an intense, intimate relationship (have one, am married, check). I don't need any more dependency relationships( can barely handle my two year old meltdowns, not really able to handle adult ones). I don't have time to discuss life philosophies- diapers, feedings, booboos, and timeout are always calling and interrupting.
What I need/want is a drinking buddy. Someone who can live in the moment, not expect too much out of me, remind what it is to have adult 'not taking care of smaller human beings 24/7' time and not care if I drop off the planet every other week or so. That sounds so fantastic. Drinking would be an added plus as I often desperate want to do something unmommyish and drinking usually feels like the ultimate mommy rebellion. Whohoo, let's let go and unwind! Bottoms up! Running is also a favorite alternative (though I'm not as fast as I used to be. My two year might be able to keep up with me. dang!)
Maybe there be a time in the future when I need someone who can be on my best friend tier who is in the same city as me. But in the meantime, my mommy friends will suffice, even though we barely have two sentences said before we run off after one of our young'uns. Oh, motherhood! or oh, parenthood. how we crave adult interactions! Still think a drinking buddy is the best option. Salud!
Cs Lewis has this quote about friends that ends with "you,too?" "You,too? You like the same things I do? You also flip out over silly, nonsensical things? You, too, read French literature and listen to random French rap?!" The joy and excitement of someone who enjoys the same things as you is the spark and beginning of deep true friendships, so CS Lewis surmised.
Right now, these days, I want: "you, too? you, too, want a drink and forget being peed on, whined at, picking up 40 bijillion toys, and cleaning 10 hundred spills in the last four hours? And want to talk about something non kid related even though i have zero knowledge of current events, popular trends, and any sports? Awesome! Let's leave the kids with dad and go!"
As wonderful as best friendships are, I'm not there anymore. I have two kids, a husband, and a part time job.and soon a garden. I don't need an intense, intimate relationship (have one, am married, check). I don't need any more dependency relationships( can barely handle my two year old meltdowns, not really able to handle adult ones). I don't have time to discuss life philosophies- diapers, feedings, booboos, and timeout are always calling and interrupting.
What I need/want is a drinking buddy. Someone who can live in the moment, not expect too much out of me, remind what it is to have adult 'not taking care of smaller human beings 24/7' time and not care if I drop off the planet every other week or so. That sounds so fantastic. Drinking would be an added plus as I often desperate want to do something unmommyish and drinking usually feels like the ultimate mommy rebellion. Whohoo, let's let go and unwind! Bottoms up! Running is also a favorite alternative (though I'm not as fast as I used to be. My two year might be able to keep up with me. dang!)
Maybe there be a time in the future when I need someone who can be on my best friend tier who is in the same city as me. But in the meantime, my mommy friends will suffice, even though we barely have two sentences said before we run off after one of our young'uns. Oh, motherhood! or oh, parenthood. how we crave adult interactions! Still think a drinking buddy is the best option. Salud!
Sweet womanly fellowship
Ok. That title sounds super creepy. I'm not trying to be creepy, but I am trying to express how nice it is to go to a women's group, of all ages, and shoot the breeze.
I've missed that and needed that for a long while. A place where you feel comfortable and at home to open up and share and be a bit vulnerable.
And I can't believe I found it at a pca church. Not that I judge them (okay, maybe I do), but I just have a lot of issues with their all male leadership and the whole male only presbyters and elders and deacons thing. The only place where you'd see a woman is by the children's ministry title. Riles me up, saddens me, and I write them off, all at the same time.
But, it's the first church in Durham, where I have 'felt' happy- where there's been a spark. A glimmer of, seeing myself digging roots, finding holy communion with my family. There door's open and the burden feels light. Feel, maybe, perhaps, the Spirit is (finally) moving (again).
Looking forward to Monday night hangouts with these ladies. Looking forward to some good community. Some give and take. Some body and blood of Christ working in relationships, easy or hard, but anointed with the oil of fellowship. Amen and hallelujah!
I've missed that and needed that for a long while. A place where you feel comfortable and at home to open up and share and be a bit vulnerable.
And I can't believe I found it at a pca church. Not that I judge them (okay, maybe I do), but I just have a lot of issues with their all male leadership and the whole male only presbyters and elders and deacons thing. The only place where you'd see a woman is by the children's ministry title. Riles me up, saddens me, and I write them off, all at the same time.
But, it's the first church in Durham, where I have 'felt' happy- where there's been a spark. A glimmer of, seeing myself digging roots, finding holy communion with my family. There door's open and the burden feels light. Feel, maybe, perhaps, the Spirit is (finally) moving (again).
Looking forward to Monday night hangouts with these ladies. Looking forward to some good community. Some give and take. Some body and blood of Christ working in relationships, easy or hard, but anointed with the oil of fellowship. Amen and hallelujah!
Friday, October 5, 2012
The Idol of Peace
We are in the midst of the babymoon- the time I call right after birth where we live in a little bubble of peace and tranquility as we adjust to having a new one around. Evelyn's babymoon was such a restful, peaceful, and joyful time as we watched her eat, sleep, and poop with family around us, not much to do during the day, but rest and get acquainted with our new little one. The same thing is happening with Charles. Parents are in town to help with Evelyn. Every morning starts out with family cuddle time in our bed and we fall deeper and deeper in love with new baby Charles and our little family. I love this time. I crave this time. I guard this time as a restful and peaceful time. I protect this time for our family.
As I realize this and cherish it and store it away to ponder in my heart, I realize what I really am desiring is peace. I need peace. I need this time to be peaceful and so I strive to make it happen. I am a person of peace, someone who strives for it and wishes it to be in every area of my life. That is a lofty wish because conflict abounds everywhere (and I am awful about conflict), but at home, with my family, I do have to ability to make it a place of peace. And so I do go after it.
And what exactly is peace? To me, it's the rhythm and routine of the day that allows for work and rest and full enjoyment of those around me. It's space to do all that needs to get done without anxiety or rushing about or stress. It's a everything in its place and having a place for everything. It's being prepared for the unexpected and grace for the bumps and bruises along the way. It's calm strength. It's a good attitude. It's the strong, quiet joy of God's love emanating from deep within. It's gratitude and grace. It's a form of love.
I am not sure why I grasp tightly these images of peace, but I know that I need them. I know that I can't always live its bubble, even though I want to, but i will make the most of the time i have in it. I know that the valleys of the shadow of death will come, but the memories of green pastures where my soul is restored will remind me. Remind me that the Lord God is a God of Love and peace and rest. And I can rest in Him, love and be loved to the glory of His name. Amen.
As I realize this and cherish it and store it away to ponder in my heart, I realize what I really am desiring is peace. I need peace. I need this time to be peaceful and so I strive to make it happen. I am a person of peace, someone who strives for it and wishes it to be in every area of my life. That is a lofty wish because conflict abounds everywhere (and I am awful about conflict), but at home, with my family, I do have to ability to make it a place of peace. And so I do go after it.
And what exactly is peace? To me, it's the rhythm and routine of the day that allows for work and rest and full enjoyment of those around me. It's space to do all that needs to get done without anxiety or rushing about or stress. It's a everything in its place and having a place for everything. It's being prepared for the unexpected and grace for the bumps and bruises along the way. It's calm strength. It's a good attitude. It's the strong, quiet joy of God's love emanating from deep within. It's gratitude and grace. It's a form of love.
I am not sure why I grasp tightly these images of peace, but I know that I need them. I know that I can't always live its bubble, even though I want to, but i will make the most of the time i have in it. I know that the valleys of the shadow of death will come, but the memories of green pastures where my soul is restored will remind me. Remind me that the Lord God is a God of Love and peace and rest. And I can rest in Him, love and be loved to the glory of His name. Amen.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Wait, wait, waiting
So I've been in "labor" for about two weeks. Not active labor, though at times I thought, finally! But the early, latent, let's get to 4 cm and make life uncomfortable labor. Half of me think my body shuts down labor because how it reacts to pain. Or I am just that good at my relaxation exercises. And, oh my, the emotional rollercoasters these 'faux' Braxton Hicks, latent whatever you want to call it labor contractions have sent me on! I am *trying* to have a better attitude about pregnancy, but it's pretty much the worse thing that has ever happened to me and yeah yeah I get a baby, but the toil, the work, the agony, the intense suffering I go through to get that baby. I could do without the experience. Not to say that I don't love the child I have (who is the most fun thing on the planet, the biggest joy and comedian ever) or I won't love this one (the tease who will probably be just as precocious and fun loving as his sister), I'm just saying, I don't need to ever be pregnant again. Ever. Unless there's divine intervention and God wants to torture me another 10 months because of my character flaws or to show me an ironic twist of grace like some Flannery O'Connor story. Yeah, I am failing at that good attitude about pregnancy. It's thrown me for a loop and I am not sure I'll ever wrap my head around it or understand how it's allowed to exist. Okay, I'll stop. This post was supposed to be about failure.
My darling husband, DH, is reading a book about some guy who likes to be different and argues for a 4 hour work week. Daniel likes to read out loud a passage every once in awhile about some crazy venture or thought this guy has. One of the passages he read was about dealing with failure. It went something along the lines of 'somebody's success can be directly correlated to amount of uncomfortable conversations they are willing to have' or basically, how willing a person is able to face their fears and what they are afraid of failing at. It has lead to some great food for thought. Because, though I would consider myself somewhat of a fearless person, willing to put myself out there, and push myself out of my comfort zones, I also have really deep fears of failure and fear of other rather silly things (like uncomfortable conversations with people- cannot cannot have negative conversations with people, it's sooo awful!).
Currently, I am enrolled in two grad classes in order to do a teacher license recert. One class plays to my strength and the other plays to my fears (like most of the classes I took in college- oh i enjoy the difficult paths of life). A bad grade on one of my homework assignments sent me down the trail of feeling like a failure and all my insecurities and what have you about my 'intelligence' (okay to be specific, my geospatial reasoning that boys are way better at than girls) came tumbling back. Then Daniel hits me with this quote and I realize, well, what do I realize? That it's okay to a vulnerable girl in a class and field dominated by men and to not know everything already (hence the point of the class????). I do really enjoy math, but i have never ever thought i was good at it. I mean I can get by. But never ever will I ever be able to get a masters or a phd or anything of that ilk because... well, it's hard. My brain doesn't naturally think in n-space and I am insecure about what I do know. It's the typical research study showing why girls aren't in more math and science fields (because supposedly boys don't have insecurities about asking questions and understanding what they know, but girls do). I have a huge fear of failing math, but I am unwilling to face my fear and ask the questions I need to in order to gain the knowledge and understanding I need, and so I fail... It's like the cycle of poverty. And somehow facing that fear and knowing that fear, I can slowly overcome it and be what the heck what if I sound like a ditz. Who cares (besides me!)? So what if I am not the smartest in the class anymore. What do I need to protect? My ego?
Oh, it's awful this overcoming inborn tendency to protect and preserve inner positive thoughts about one's abilities. But okay. And yes, I am sure there is a spiritual application in here somewhere. A lesson in learning humility? Fear as a sin that prevents us from doing what we need to do? A lesson in being bold and courageous like Joshua? Because there are problems out there in the world that need bold people being the hands and feet of Jesus, not fearing our inevitable failures to love our neighbors and God, but doing it just the same? Sure. It's not that hard to extrapolate. Because, you know what happens when you face yours fears or failures? You somehow enjoy life, enjoy God and his gifts more. At least, I do. I enjoy math more when I overcome any wrong answers and understand more concepts that are crazy, wondrous, and reflective of a bigger mind than my own. And that makes me filled- with a love of a God who knows all things, loves all things, is all things. It's a cool world out there, if only we put ourselves out there!
My darling husband, DH, is reading a book about some guy who likes to be different and argues for a 4 hour work week. Daniel likes to read out loud a passage every once in awhile about some crazy venture or thought this guy has. One of the passages he read was about dealing with failure. It went something along the lines of 'somebody's success can be directly correlated to amount of uncomfortable conversations they are willing to have' or basically, how willing a person is able to face their fears and what they are afraid of failing at. It has lead to some great food for thought. Because, though I would consider myself somewhat of a fearless person, willing to put myself out there, and push myself out of my comfort zones, I also have really deep fears of failure and fear of other rather silly things (like uncomfortable conversations with people- cannot cannot have negative conversations with people, it's sooo awful!).
Currently, I am enrolled in two grad classes in order to do a teacher license recert. One class plays to my strength and the other plays to my fears (like most of the classes I took in college- oh i enjoy the difficult paths of life). A bad grade on one of my homework assignments sent me down the trail of feeling like a failure and all my insecurities and what have you about my 'intelligence' (okay to be specific, my geospatial reasoning that boys are way better at than girls) came tumbling back. Then Daniel hits me with this quote and I realize, well, what do I realize? That it's okay to a vulnerable girl in a class and field dominated by men and to not know everything already (hence the point of the class????). I do really enjoy math, but i have never ever thought i was good at it. I mean I can get by. But never ever will I ever be able to get a masters or a phd or anything of that ilk because... well, it's hard. My brain doesn't naturally think in n-space and I am insecure about what I do know. It's the typical research study showing why girls aren't in more math and science fields (because supposedly boys don't have insecurities about asking questions and understanding what they know, but girls do). I have a huge fear of failing math, but I am unwilling to face my fear and ask the questions I need to in order to gain the knowledge and understanding I need, and so I fail... It's like the cycle of poverty. And somehow facing that fear and knowing that fear, I can slowly overcome it and be what the heck what if I sound like a ditz. Who cares (besides me!)? So what if I am not the smartest in the class anymore. What do I need to protect? My ego?
Oh, it's awful this overcoming inborn tendency to protect and preserve inner positive thoughts about one's abilities. But okay. And yes, I am sure there is a spiritual application in here somewhere. A lesson in learning humility? Fear as a sin that prevents us from doing what we need to do? A lesson in being bold and courageous like Joshua? Because there are problems out there in the world that need bold people being the hands and feet of Jesus, not fearing our inevitable failures to love our neighbors and God, but doing it just the same? Sure. It's not that hard to extrapolate. Because, you know what happens when you face yours fears or failures? You somehow enjoy life, enjoy God and his gifts more. At least, I do. I enjoy math more when I overcome any wrong answers and understand more concepts that are crazy, wondrous, and reflective of a bigger mind than my own. And that makes me filled- with a love of a God who knows all things, loves all things, is all things. It's a cool world out there, if only we put ourselves out there!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)