Lewis versus Rowlings and Collins and Riordan

My sister, my mom, my brother, and I are voracious readers. As in, we read entire book series in a matter of days. Reread our favorites within a week. Discuss characters, themes, plot twists to death. We are our own little book club circle.  At any given point in a conversation, we'll say, " oh I am rereading Austen (all of them) or Anne of Green Gables (all of them) or Harry Potter or Narnia or Tolkien." My sister right now is rereading Anne of Green Gables. My mom just finished rereading the Hunger Games. I just finished Austen and Narnia (yes, all of them! ok minus Northhanger Abbey).  I  will probably start on Harry Potter soon just because.  Perhaps I am in need of new reading material, but I've read quite a lot. It's just that most books fall into the "timeless classic books I'll read over and over again because they never fail to entertain" category or the "nice story, but too ______ for me to want to read it again" box.  Most adult books post 1980 fall into the second category with a fill in the blank of "depressing" or "boring." Or "sexual." Really. Too many modern books found on the New York Times Bestseller list are depressing and sexual and most likely depressing because of how sexual they are. Barf. Give me kid's lit! Where more nobler themes of humanity are scrolled on every page. Adult themes don't hold my interest. While they might paint an actual picture of the state of humanity (how depressing!), they don't inspire and thus I don't really need to read them again. Plus, too much of life is that way for me to want to read fiction about it. Read stories about characters that destroy their lives, pfah. Might as well read the newspaper or watch the news.

But back to speaking of kid's lit, modern day kid's lit is a little different from say Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. Actually, most kid's lit is. Having just finished the Silver Chair a day or two ago, I found it remarkable the number of anti- protagonists there are: Edmund, Eustace, even Peter and Susan in Prince Caspian, Jill Poole and even Digory in The Magician's Nephew. They are all fallen. ignoble characters who have to be redeemed by Aslan. Edmund wants to be King and subject his siblings to his power and gives into the White Witch. Peter and Susan ignore Lucy's wanting to follow Aslan and follow rationality over faith. Eustace is a mean bully who likes to complain and is selfish and rotten to his core. Jill is easily swayed by appearances and gives into the idea of comfort over obedience (see the chapter when they meet the Giants of North).  Digory rings the bell that awakens Jadis in a fit of selfishness and impulsiveness, punching poor Polly in the process. Jadis, of course, is the future White Witch. Their actions reflect a rottenness in the heart as a motivation. A baseness they succumb to instead of fight against. They choose willingly to do the wrong thing. And thus fall and fail.

 In contrast, Harry, Katniss, Percy Jackson and et al, tend to be true heroes, yes with faults, but faults they overcome nobly.  They don't betray. They don't grumble. They overcome their selfishness. They may war against the selfish parts of themselves, but ultimately, they rise to the occasion and do the right thing. And we love them for it. We love Harry and Katniss and Percy's selflessness (okay in Katniss's case her sacrifice) and integrity. They inspire us to rise to the occasion and battle evil and conquer it. They don't fall and so are like the legends of old, ideals, people to look up to. People, characters who become immortal and synonymous with heroism.

So what does that say about Lewis's series where Edmund doesn't overcome his selfishness and Aslan has to pay for his crime. Eustace, too,  has to learn humility the hard way and only through Aslan, does he become a decent and 'good' character. Lucy, Peter, Caspian for the most part are noble characters, and while they mess up, they are more in line with our traditional views of heroes and follow the type of Harry, Katniss, and Percy.  Which makes it all the more interesting that Lewis writes in characters like Edmund and Eustace.Why does he give us fallen heros that have to look outside of themselves for goodness and nobility and that carry with them the marks and scars of their cowardice?

Is it because that it is more real to life than the plot lines of our favorite noble characters?Lewis's fallen characters reflect more human decisions and the human heart. And reality points more to the truth and action of the gospel. We all betray and give ourselves over to the White Witch through treachery and sin. We all choose the wrong way and become cowards, creatures of the dark side that cannot regain access to integrity and nobility except through the action of a more righteous other. The consequences of Edmund's betrayal is the most heavy and serious in the series and the one that makes us most feel the weight and gravity of our deepest and most shameful moments. Moments where our actions of sins rot us to the core and debase us so that we are not fit to be anything. Thankfully, the story goes on to tell that what is required is for another to come and take the punishment and restore us with, fingers crossed, humility. Jesus did that for us on the cross. Aslan did it for Edmund at the Stone Table And that's a story line that more children and adults need to hear: we can be restored, with God's help. As great as the story of Harry Potter, and Katniss Evergreen and Percy Jackson are, they can't help us be redeemed from our bad choices- they only show us what happens when we don't make them. And we need to know that bad choices are not our condemnation into villains and antagonists, but that we too can rise and become anti protagonists, fallen heroes, humble and true, part of a bigger story that will bring all the righteous into glory on the last day. Amen.

Thoughts swimming in my head

haven't had much time to blog- but have written plenty of posts in my head. Here's what I would write if I could be more disciplined:

-Fanny Price ( of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park) versus Scarlett O'Hara (of MM's Gone with the Wind)- extreme selfishness versus extreme selflessness- who is the better heroine? They are opposite ends of a spectrum, but in the end, are they that different?

-Failure- my many failures and how it's changed me (and how it's a little too easy for me to pick myself up after a project has blown up in my face). humility, ambition, the path to success (true success) should be littered with failure. and not something to fear, yet we fear it so much. why?

-A response to the preface and first essay of Wendell Berry's Sex, Ecomony, Community & Freedom. Liked the first chapter. The preface is a little too 'angry man on a rant who is biting the hand that made him'


and other things.

Joy versus Happiness versus Contentedness versus Peace

I feel I must now explain my thoughts on joy versus happiness. One being one very much preferred expression of the other, but not the ultimate desire. In other words, happiness is an expression of joy, but not the only manifestation.

There's a great quote out in the twitter world that originated from who knows where and it goes: "Joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the settled conviction that the gospel is true in the face of sorrow." And I very much believe that statement. What I was trying to get at in my previous post is that I function better when I'm happy- and that doesn't mean I don't understand sorrow or avoid it or repress it, all things I think you cannot do and be a Christian, but that it's okay to operate in the happy realm- it's a byproduct of joy.

And joy encompasses joy and sorrow and everything in between and it is my belief that you cannot know true joy without knowing sorrow. Nor is joy very far away from peace. The peace that passes all understanding and knowledge. These things sort of go hand in hand. And that also means you have a contentedness with joy, sorrow, hardship, happiness, peace, conflict but at the same time have a dis-contentedness with the way things are.

Also, I think I should say that all these things are very very important for a very big reason: they help us love. If we are to be witnesses of Christ, to the ends of the earth, we need to know how to love. And I don't think you know how to love well without joy, sorrow, happiness, contentedness and peace. You may be able to preach, to go to church, to be apart of christian community, but I don't think you'd be able to love others well without understanding how much you are loved. And when you experience how much you are loved you experience love, joy, sorrow, happiness, and peace. It's just what happens when God comes into your life and speaks. His love transcends. It's the reverse of the apple of the tree of good and evil. When you bite the apple of God's love, you experience goodness, grace, peace, love, joy. Things we were created to experience as God's children. The things that make us alive. Make us lights in darkness.

I'm only happy when I work? What??

Yes. It's true. I am most happy in life when I am in a classroom interacting with students making all those cogwheels turn in little brains. It's almost pathetic how my serotonin and dopamine levels soar when I am teaching. It's my panacea for life. As long as I am working (teaching), I can climb any mountains, ford any stream, overcome any difficulties.

I'm strange I know, but I think it's pretty obvious why teaching makes me happy. Psych 101: Feeling happy is directly correlated to how much meaning and satisfaction you find in work and how connected you are to your community. Not happy in life? You either are not finding meaning  and satisfaction in your work or you do not feel connected to your fellow man. It's that simple.  Teaching = both. I find meaning in the work and I connect to people aka my students and viola I'm happy. And if I am happy, everything else in my life tends fall in line and get it order. Not very deep, I know. But it works!!

And "cynic" alert: it's also why religion works. As much as I value my faith and my relationship with Jesus and my spirituality, I also know that (and know why?) religion is, yes, an opiate for the masses. See above paragraph: it helps people find meaning in life and help connect people to their fellow man. Maybe I am oversimplifying some of the benefits of Christianity, but it's also true, albeit a simplification. It's part of the whole. And yeah, I think God created it that way. He wired us humans for a specific purpose, and yes, that purpose might just be the recipe for happiness psychologists around the world know so well: find meaning in your work and connect deeply to a community.  The mysteries of how to be happy and why we are here solved!

What makes it complicated? Sin. Brokenness. So we need God to overcome the complications. Need Jesus to rediscover meaning. Rediscover how to connect to God and thus then be able to connect to the fellow man. The Gospel in a happiness oriented nutshell. Here's another way to put it:

Find God. Find meaning. Find connection to humanity. Find Happiness. The end.

(yeah, yeah, yeah there are bumps in that formula. hard times. sad times. painful times. but that's part of the process of finding meaning and finding connection. What stage of discovery are you at right now?)

Jews and Gentiles in the Early Church

I'm a bit of a snob. Oh not about clothes, or money, or most material things. But about education, justice, compassion, generosity, and general concern for the well being of the general welfare, YES. Most places I've lived are rather accommodating in those aspects- high concentrations of PhDs, well educated, community minded, highly involved, and compassionate people make up the majority of places like Northern VA, Charlottesville, and yes, even DC. Moving to NC has been an adjustment to more "southern" living? I don't know what to call it, but the fact that a "marriage" amendment that is purely politically motivated by right wingers to show off their muscles and that purposely harm families that aren't given a conservative stamp of approval angers me to the core.

It's so unjust. Families that already have to work for approval from social outlets now have the full force of government behind making their lives harder. No more benefits for spouses or children of their partners- who if they are not of their blood, probably won't be covered any more by villainous insurance companies. Heaven forbid that a child from two same sex parents has any extensive health problems, because now thanks to this law, the insurance company maybe able to drop them off coverage.

Not to mention that battered women might not be able to protect themselves and their children from their abusive but not legal married partners. Not your husband, hunny, we the law can't do anything about your problems, have fun being beaten to a pulp [it's your own fault sweetie is what also society says to the poor woman. BIG FAT LIE]. And no civil unions! Sorry if you don't believe in marriage, no legal protection or benefits for your partner because marriage is what's important. You want to leave all your money to the person you spent 50 plus years of civil unity with? SORRY, we the state are going to take it from you because YOU WEREN"T MARRIED. So, Go, Follow in the steps of the crooked politicians who put this amendment on the ballot and marry... but please don't have a marriage like them-- who think it's okay to sleep with lobbyists and carry on extramarital affairs- because surely it's all those gay people marrying that are driving republicans to forgo their marriage vows and be unfaithful. Yea. Vote for marriage. It's the "right" thing to do. And remember marriage is for sleeping around and doing whatever the dang you want you to. Just as long as you got a certification that says man and wife.

I am a bit bitter, if you can't tell. The government is around to protect ALL people and their interests, not the few. And it seems that not only are people not informed about what this bill really means, they probably don't care. WHERE ARE THE EDUCATED AND INFORMED? Oh yea, in Durham, Wake and Orange counties who did the right thing and voted against it. But the rest of the state? God help us if they are fully capable of being manipulated by SuperPacs and conservative think tanks who deliberately deceive in the quest for power and corruption. And you know what this reminds me of? The Early Church with the Jews hating the Gentiles and the ridiculous steps they made the Gentiles take to be "truly Christ followers." Circumcision, dietary customs, etcetc aka become Jewish was how to be acceptable in the eyes of the Jewish Christians.

And Paul fought for the Gentiles rights to be culturally different. And counseled for the Gentiles to heap burning coals over those self-righteous Jews' heads. Who sustained the Jewish church through famine and recession? Who sent them alms, money, support, friendship? Yup, that's right. The Gentile Church- despite the adversity and hate from Jewish Christian bigots. The Gentiles showed mercy and grace when it probably should have been the other way around. But that's how God likes to work. The victims become the means of God's love. And so "liberals" or whatever you want to call the anti Conservative Moral value Republican movement that seeks to harm gays, immigrants, those who don't conform to their views of morality and who are 'culturally different', start the heaping of burning coals. There's a lot of hate and prejudice to overcome in people's hearts and minds.

Freedom in Relationships

I have a friend. A best friend in fact, whom I love, and with whom I experience complete friendship "freedom"- freedom's in quotes because it begs a definition that i hope to get to. I don't know quite how to explain the joy and pleasure from such a relationship. She's a person that I enjoy every moment I am with her and I never tire of her, yet we often go six months without speaking to each other. In terms of a normal friendship, that might qualify us as bad friends, but i don't think that's true for us. It's more a respect for the other person that we don't "need" each other for day to day, but more are there for the long run?? I don't know,  no matter the time apart we pick up where we left off and it is like not a day has gone by. It's a wonderful, beautiful relationship and it works.  Secretly, I think it is because we both have a bit of gypsy blood in us- we like our own time and space and like to make the most of what's in front of us.  We're a little bit from the ancient tribe of wanderers and explorers.  She's off and truly embodying that and, well, I got a tattoo to combat my nomadic tendencies.  Yet,  it's not like it's not a struggle for me to stay in one place and not have adventures. My whole existential crisis of not working hinges around my innate desires to be "free" and do what I want. More on that later. Back to describing this wonderful friendship, maybe it is so wonderful because I don't ever really think too hard about our relationship, but rather enjoy it for what it is and for the ease in which I find being with her- it's rare that that happens for me!

The only other person who I feel a similar sense of 'freedom' with is my husband. He was the second person in my life with whom I never tire of being around (usually our quabbles revolve around the opposite problem: he's not around enough) and with whom it is easy and free to be me. And I like to think that is the same the other way around. It is a great gift to have these two people in my life, simply because it is so wonderful to be in relationship with them. They challenge me and help me grow and I feel safe sharing anything with them- good, bad, ugly, beautiful. I also feel a deep sense of being known and loved by them. Even when Daniel makes me mad. Sarah has never ever made me mad nor have we ever been in a fight- there was only one instance when we had a slight scuffle about being late to a wedding seven years into our friendship... and we used to spend entire semesters together taking the same classes!!

The teacher in me now wants to give a "non-example" of a freedom giving relationship, but I think that would be unfair to those relationships I have that are hard. Relationships where I get hurt easily or do not understand the person and feel all we do is miscommunicate. I am sure, you the readership, have plenty of examples of relationships where you feel anything but freedom. And those are still valid relationships that God works through. It's just, I love it when God allows for freedom in my life- it fulfills me on some deep level that I am very grateful for. [And then there are very many relationship that fall in the middle: they are gratifying and enjoyable, but require work, mostly because of differences-which i see as a good. But the fact someone is different from me and perceives the world differently demands a certain amount of work and respect and care, but all very much worth it and enjoyable! I love my friends who are completely different personalities and have different modus operandi. We rub each other like iron sharpens iron, and well, that sometimes is as not as 'easy' as the two relationships i am talking about here. Sometimes you change to fit in more with them or I am taken aback about their perspectives on things and need time to figure those out, and that may or may not be that freeing, etc, etc. ]

And I guess I should clarify my use of freedom. There's a mutual respect, a deep understanding and love of the other person, and lack of walls and defenses that allow for rich fellowship and communion. There's automatic grace and immediate forgiveness. Trust. Love. Loyalty. Faithfulness ( as in no betrayal and no fear or worry of betrayal).  I feel I am listing side effects of these relationships instead of what makes them free, but maybe it's all the same thing.

And yes, I would say I feel a great amount of freedom with my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. So much so I can go six months without daily prayer and still know that he loves me as deeply and truly as ever. Not that I'd ever ever recommend that- but you know, the thing about freedom is, that it's okay if that does happen. All those things I listed above will always always be true no matter what I do or don't do. And yes, I believe God calls us to have that type of a 'free' relationship him. No restrictions. No standards to measure up to. Just honesty and being real and sincere. A relationship that will stand the test of time, a relationship that will weather the good, bad, ugly and beautiful with loyalty, trust, love, and grace. How wonderful is that! It is so freeing to know that that is what God offers us! It's sin that gets in the way of actualizing that freedom, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. It is! Just waiting for us to call, to share, to laugh, to cry. To be. In deep communion with our Lord and Creator, Lord and Savior, Redeemer and Friend.
Amen. 

P.S. It took 17 years of my life to realize Grace and enter into that kind of relationship with Christ what with growing up in the church, accepting him at 3, going to christian school, etc etc. It took the rest of my college experience to put that type of relationship to the test and to know with out a doubt that there is nothing I can do to stop God's love for me. And it's taken the 5 years post college for me to live into the harder side of that kind of relationship. To trust, to fight, to know and rest on all those promises. It has not been as easy as my relationship with my best friend or my husband, but it has been without a doubt the most important and most influential.