I have a friend. A best friend in fact, whom I love, and with whom I experience complete friendship "freedom"- freedom's in quotes because it begs a definition that i hope to get to. I don't know quite how to explain the joy and pleasure from such a relationship. She's a person that I enjoy every moment I am with her and I never tire of her, yet we often go six months without speaking to each other. In terms of a normal friendship, that might qualify us as bad friends, but i don't think that's true for us. It's more a respect for the other person that we don't "need" each other for day to day, but more are there for the long run?? I don't know, no matter the time apart we pick up where we left off and it is like not a day has gone by. It's a wonderful, beautiful relationship and it works. Secretly, I think it is because we both have a bit of gypsy blood in us- we like our own time and space and like to make the most of what's in front of us. We're a little bit from the ancient tribe of wanderers and explorers. She's off and truly embodying that and, well, I got a tattoo to combat my nomadic tendencies. Yet, it's not like it's not a struggle for me to stay in one place and not have adventures. My whole existential crisis of not working hinges around my innate desires to be "free" and do what I want. More on that later. Back to describing this wonderful friendship, maybe it is so wonderful because I don't ever really think too hard about our relationship, but rather enjoy it for what it is and for the ease in which I find being with her- it's rare that that happens for me!
The only other person who I feel a similar sense of 'freedom' with is my husband. He was the second person in my life with whom I never tire of being around (usually our quabbles revolve around the opposite problem: he's not around enough) and with whom it is easy and free to be me. And I like to think that is the same the other way around. It is a great gift to have these two people in my life, simply because it is so wonderful to be in relationship with them. They challenge me and help me grow and I feel safe sharing anything with them- good, bad, ugly, beautiful. I also feel a deep sense of being known and loved by them. Even when Daniel makes me mad. Sarah has never ever made me mad nor have we ever been in a fight- there was only one instance when we had a slight scuffle about being late to a wedding seven years into our friendship... and we used to spend entire semesters together taking the same classes!!
The teacher in me now wants to give a "non-example" of a freedom giving relationship, but I think that would be unfair to those relationships I have that are hard. Relationships where I get hurt easily or do not understand the person and feel all we do is miscommunicate. I am sure, you the readership, have plenty of examples of relationships where you feel anything but freedom. And those are still valid relationships that God works through. It's just, I love it when God allows for freedom in my life- it fulfills me on some deep level that I am very grateful for. [And then there are very many relationship that fall in the middle: they are gratifying and enjoyable, but require work, mostly because of differences-which i see as a good. But the fact someone is different from me and perceives the world differently demands a certain amount of work and respect and care, but all very much worth it and enjoyable! I love my friends who are completely different personalities and have different modus operandi. We rub each other like iron sharpens iron, and well, that sometimes is as not as 'easy' as the two relationships i am talking about here. Sometimes you change to fit in more with them or I am taken aback about their perspectives on things and need time to figure those out, and that may or may not be that freeing, etc, etc. ]
And I guess I should clarify my use of freedom. There's a mutual respect, a deep understanding and love of the other person, and lack of walls and defenses that allow for rich fellowship and communion. There's automatic grace and immediate forgiveness. Trust. Love. Loyalty. Faithfulness ( as in no betrayal and no fear or worry of betrayal). I feel I am listing side effects of these relationships instead of what makes them free, but maybe it's all the same thing.
And yes, I would say I feel a great amount of freedom with my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. So much so I can go six months without daily prayer and still know that he loves me as deeply and truly as ever. Not that I'd ever ever recommend that- but you know, the thing about freedom is, that it's okay if that does happen. All those things I listed above will always always be true no matter what I do or don't do. And yes, I believe God calls us to have that type of a 'free' relationship him. No restrictions. No standards to measure up to. Just honesty and being real and sincere. A relationship that will stand the test of time, a relationship that will weather the good, bad, ugly and beautiful with loyalty, trust, love, and grace. How wonderful is that! It is so freeing to know that that is what God offers us! It's sin that gets in the way of actualizing that freedom, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. It is! Just waiting for us to call, to share, to laugh, to cry. To be. In deep communion with our Lord and Creator, Lord and Savior, Redeemer and Friend.
Amen.
P.S. It took 17 years of my life to realize Grace and enter into that kind of relationship with Christ what with growing up in the church, accepting him at 3, going to christian school, etc etc. It took the rest of my college experience to put that type of relationship to the test and to know with out a doubt that there is nothing I can do to stop God's love for me. And it's taken the 5 years post college for me to live into the harder side of that kind of relationship. To trust, to fight, to know and rest on all those promises. It has not been as easy as my relationship with my best friend or my husband, but it has been without a doubt the most important and most influential.
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