A girl my husband went to college with just wrote a funny post on her blog about finding a new best friend. She referenced one of the funniest new televisions out there, the Mindy Project, saying, "Best friend isn't a person, it's tier." While she went on to lament her lack of intimate acquaintances here in Durham, I started to lament my lack of a drinking buddy.
Cs Lewis has this quote about friends that ends with "you,too?" "You,too? You like the same things I do? You also flip out over silly, nonsensical things? You, too, read French literature and listen to random French rap?!" The joy and excitement of someone who enjoys the same things as you is the spark and beginning of deep true friendships, so CS Lewis surmised.
Right now, these days, I want: "you, too? you, too, want a drink and forget being peed on, whined at, picking up 40 bijillion toys, and cleaning 10 hundred spills in the last four hours? And want to talk about something non kid related even though i have zero knowledge of current events, popular trends, and any sports? Awesome! Let's leave the kids with dad and go!"
As wonderful as best friendships are, I'm not there anymore. I have two kids, a husband, and a part time job.and soon a garden. I don't need an intense, intimate relationship (have one, am married, check). I don't need any more dependency relationships( can barely handle my two year old meltdowns, not really able to handle adult ones). I don't have time to discuss life philosophies- diapers, feedings, booboos, and timeout are always calling and interrupting.
What I need/want is a drinking buddy. Someone who can live in the moment, not expect too much out of me, remind what it is to have adult 'not taking care of smaller human beings 24/7' time and not care if I drop off the planet every other week or so. That sounds so fantastic. Drinking would be an added plus as I often desperate want to do something unmommyish and drinking usually feels like the ultimate mommy rebellion. Whohoo, let's let go and unwind! Bottoms up! Running is also a favorite alternative (though I'm not as fast as I used to be. My two year might be able to keep up with me. dang!)
Maybe there be a time in the future when I need someone who can be on my best friend tier who is in the same city as me. But in the meantime, my mommy friends will suffice, even though we barely have two sentences said before we run off after one of our young'uns. Oh, motherhood! or oh, parenthood. how we crave adult interactions! Still think a drinking buddy is the best option. Salud!
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