The power to not conform

I deeply respect my parents and the choices they have made in life. They tend to choose the harder road, the road less traveled, the counterintuitive road all because they feel and listen strongly to the convictions of Christ placed on their lives.

And they've suffered for it. Burned by churches they have given themselves to sacrificially in a multitude of ways, they continue to commit themselves to serving the church and Jesus. It's humbling and hard to see how they've left 'comfortable' positions and allowed themselves to be vulnerable in difficult circumstances without any promise of, except being called faithful at the end of the day. They've left a church with a lot of friends and in the suburbs, to move to the city to plant a church without many peers. They moved to a city leaving the comforts and safety that suburbs offer. My dad left his job to go into ministry, drastically changing their lifestyles in their 'old' age. While most people seek to beef up retirement, my parents are taking a humble, low road in the name of what Jesus has placed on their hearts.

Maybe, now you see why I have issues with committing to a church (since Charlottesville). I'm just waiting to get burned. Waiting for the hurt that inevitably comes from communing with sinners. Or waiting for the hurt that comes from following christ and being faithful to what he has called you to and for the church to fail you in that regard, because it does.

And yet, even with my church baggage, I feel so blessed by parents because I have this deep power to not conform. I don't have to seek comfort or safety in the communities I am apart of. I don't have to pursue financial or social security with regards to my career or church or lifestyle. I have the power to listen to and follow my convictions, pursue Jesus with whatever I have and walk out in faith with my decisions.

And I am deeply thankful for that. My best friend and I have spent the last year feeling the angst of not fitting in with our church communities and doubting ourselves for wanting more than what we have and feeling pressure to conform to what we are not. We are non-conformers. Not content with the status quo, actively wrestling with the calls and situations god has placed in our lives. And church for us is not a social club nor just a place you go on Sunday to worship. It may be a place that hurts you and persecutes you in some way and not necessarily a place of comfort, but definitely growth. While no church is perfect, very very far from, there needs to be a conviction, even an anointing of god's, saying "go here."

And like Abraham, we have to listen to that call. Even if the call is to leave the land of your fathers and go somewhere weird or difficult or skyrockets your gas budget. Because that is what it means to have faith and to act on it, especially if it makes you different. Lord Jesus, may we listen to you in the places where we conform and not follow on convictions. Help us follow you where you go and call. help us trust the plans you have for us. In your name we pray, amen.