My relationship with God has passed through many phases. We've gone around the block a few times, i like to think, with ups and downs, good times and bad., feasts and famines. And because it is a relationship, I tend to personify him, even though he is God. Sometimes he takes the shape of a best friend, most of the time I think of Him as one of the best friends I have ever had. Sometimes he is a lover who loves like a man loves a woman, like my husband loves me.Well, that one comes from how he talks about the church, but it is a nice way to think of the power of his love. Sometimes he is a manager and head of a big company. Mostly when I think of all the work there is to be done to build the kingdom, do I think of him as a leader of a huge enterprise, orchestrating many projects and people. And when I mess up big time, big big time, He is a big teddy bear of grace, who wraps me up and anoints me with oil of joy as I know he doesn't count my sins against me when I repent. In every characterization, he is someone who knows me. Knows me inside and out. Knows my joys and sorrows, knows strengths and weaknesses, knows everything. And is someone who is there. Always there. For me.
And after months of angst or trial or frustration or whatever phase of life I am in, whether I am feeling distant or close with Him, He comes in and cracks a joke and I realize how much I love him. He'll get me every time. Oh his tricks that make me smile. For reasons of his own, he'll surprise me and throw something into my life that makes me pause, laugh, and call me to the good and the true and the beautiful, reminding me that He is my God worthy of my all.
It's the most beautiful, powerful, and frustrating thing in my life- my relationship with God. I don't always understand what he does, or why he calls me to places of pain or injustice, or what He is doing with my life. But I do know He loves me. Have never doubted that. I know He loves me through and through, no matter what. There isn't anything I can do that will make him stop loving me. He wants to be in relationship with me and wants me to be His. And that will get me through the day, the month, the years until I see him face to face in eternity. I can't wait. What could be better than hanging out with your best friend, the person who knows you best, loves you the most, for forever? Even if he likes to pull a fast one on you every once in awhile to make sure you are paying attention.
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