Last week, I had grooveshark tuned to some of NPR's top songs of the year. To be more specific, my playlist was all the ones that you could dance to. There was many a dance party with E and D at our casa. The songs and the beats kept my mood up and kept me motivated to get things done. It felt great to move to the music and jam whenever the moment struck. I recommend you check some out.
This week is much different; it is a silent week. No songs singing themselves in my head, no itunes or grooveshark blasting on the computer. Just me and my thoughts and that inner narrator speaking up there, without any desire to listen to music. Maybe that is why I feel so glum and blah. There's nothing to pep me up and get my energy juices flowing. Skipped my weekly trip to the gym today, too. I guess this week is one of those weeks where it is slow to get back up on the horse (what horse is that, i am not sure, Daniel and I stayed in this weekend for the most part!).
The one week on, one week off phenomenon started me thinking about seasons of life (if a season can only be a week long!). Some seasons are busy and stressful, others are slow and monotonous. Sometimes it is a fast, sometimes it is a feast- spiritually, financially, with regards to fellowship, etcetc. Sometimes you are full with friends, disposable income, mission; other times you yearn for them and feel deficient. The push and pull of life, I like to think of it. One thing pushes you one season, pulls you the next, then something new happens and the cycle begins all over again.
That's how weeks eke by, years drive on, with the changing of those seasons. My season right now is slow. I am just a mom, a housewife, a part time community volunteer. No frantic days for me. The baby is on a pretty rhythmic schedule. During the week we have our "fast" times: simple meals, same breakfasts every day, same activities. The weekend is our feast, where we go out to eat, change up the schedule, have church and community group. Those weekly routines seem to work well for us. Baby needs lots of time for play and regular meal times and naps. Things that rush us out of the house are too disruptive, and aren't worth it a lot of times. It would be too stressful to be involved with lots of things and have too much "programming", so we don't program our lives. No programming means lots of unstructured, free flowing time that I think makes this season, a slow season. Soon that season of life will change and the schedule will upend and we will enter into a new phase and have to establish new rhythms of daily life.
Hopefully those rhythms will have coffee, but more hopefully, there will be better practices that bring God more into the picture. The whole purpose of this second fast was to encourage me to get back into a rhythm of scripture reading, prayer, and meditation. The writing on the blog was secondary, just a means to help motivate me and keep me focused. Scripture reading, prayer, and meditation used to bring peace, structure, and energy into my life. They completely transformed my days into acts of worship that are very life giving. So I desperately want them as part of my daily habits once again. But, well, I've not been at all diligent with establishing them this year. Done okay on writing (nothing more than what's on this blog and a few random short stories in my head), but what I really wanted to get back to, making daily space for God, I've not made much effort. Dear Lord, come! Help me draw closer to you! May you be the established pattern in my life. Amen.
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