This weekend I have a had a cold and was unable to think up anything intelligent to write. Be thankful I am not putting down the thoughts I had while doped on cold medicine.They had to do with that woman who's always pregnant on tv and how she must have destroyed her body. Pregnancy is so destructive; I don't understand how women could go through it more than a couple times. My stomach muscles still have not come back together after being split apart and I only have had one child... I know, TMI.
lasting thoughts from this week and weekend: I miss my tribe. In need of some physically present kindred spirits. or a mentor. or both. Thankfully, I sometimes talk to my best friends and I am reminded that it is okay I feel different and see the world differently, because there do exist people who are like me. They are just scattered around the country and only a phone call away. Moving to a new place is hard. It takes time to find a bosom friend (yes, Lucy Maud got those descriptions right: kindred spirit, bosom friend, tribe of joseph. thank you anne of green gables and emily of new moon for those reoccurring colloquialisms i use to describe deep friendship).
Despite feeling like I have yet to connect with one of the tribe of Joseph, the spirit is at work in the relationships around me. And there are many more potentials than there were in DC, so I need to remind myself to be thankful for that. God is teaching me patience and restraint - I am not where I want to be. For me, I don't like not being where I feel I should be and it is very hard to wait and NOT do something about that. My question is WHY WHY WHY?? Why do I have to wait. Why am I waiting? Why can't I act yet? Why is it hard for me to wait. And what am i waiting for? It is as if I am in a box, awaiting a trial period until I can burst forth and get at it- whatever "it" is. I want to do and want to make, but not sure how to or where. Dear Lord, reveal yourself to me. Let me see what you see. Let me be what you want me to be. Let me follow you with all my heart, soul, mind, spirit, body, strength. To you be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
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