Yesterday, i complained to Daniel about how he likes to make big pots of coffee just to tempt me. He of course claims that he didn't know about continuation of the fast from coffee and so we begun a conversation on reasoning behind fasting (he looks so skeptical when I say no to coffee). He then replied that he too was in the middle of a fast for spiritual benefits. And what fast would that be? Oh, his incredibly long fast from cigarettes. Hardeeharhar. Funny, but minimally supportive. He later confessed that he probably would smoke if only it didn't make your clothes smell so bad... cue another rolling of my eyes. I'll admit, there is something alluring about smoking. It projects some sort of cool image, probably thanks to decades of seeing people smoke on the silver screen. But, in the end, I think the idea is more enjoyable than the actual act of smoking- all terrible cancer causing aftermaths aside. Especially to me, a nicotine allergic, asthmatic runner who tried it once while training for a race and discovered that the day after run was too terrible to repeat. Who wants a scratchy throat and burning lungs more than once a century if you can help it? So while thinking of Daniel as a smoker may make him cooler in the mind's eye, in actuality, it would be so terribly awful. I can barely get over his coffee breath!
If only coffee was more enjoyable in the mind's eye than in reality. Today I debated whether or not I should have a cup in honor of Sunday, the Lord's day, thus a feast day and so a break from a fast day. Sadly, I did not, so now I have a whole week to ponder whether or not I can have ONE cup of coffee on Sunday's to celebrate Jesus. It is really really tempting. But would it be more that I love coffee, or more that I want to celebrate Jesus... hmmm, my heart is full of guile.
Also, I am going to renege on all i said before on what have you negativity. I don't think I quite got across what I wanted to say and I don't think I know how to say what I want to say. Today I thought the missing approach was with regards to maturity and maybe thoughts on the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son. But I am giving up as I don't necessarily disagree with these people who I've said I've disagreed with and I can't come up with a better solution. Though I did think up another critique along the same vein about how it seems that God uses really awful people to build his church. That statement of course comes from my thoughts on St. Augustine and how I could not stand his confessions-- he really was a pig of a man, yet called one of the fathers of the reformed church. His behavior to his mistress, his child, his arrogance, and carelessness, i could not handle it all, he was an example of some of the worst traits found in the male gender, but God used him. I'm not sure what do with that fact and coupled with impact that it has had on christianity. Well, God's ways are not our ways. He who has been forgiven much, loves much. Yikes. Does it really take really big mess ups for us to turn to God and follow him as zealously as Augustine, as Paul, as a whole slew of characters with shady pasts? It just might...
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